Children: Helping them adjust Part 2
Adele Cornish, BSW
Two keys to helping children thrive in your step family
A healthy family is a parent led family. Firstly the strength of your couple relationship forms the foundation upon which your blended family is built or broken. Before you can hope to resolve any challenge, you must work at establishing a healthy communication pattern. Above all else, make it a priority to discuss together all important decisions affecting your family.
Secondly, develop guidelines together as a couple for encouraging positive behaviour with consistent consequences for less desirable behaviour so children know what is expected and can trust you to act in a fair and consistent manner. You may be one of many couples who find this a real challenge. The Blending Lives Program has a whole section on discipline and how to form a plan together; check out Session 3. If parents can agree together on a plan for discipline it avoids much potential turmoil and lays the foundation of stability and respect within the family.
Now I’ll let you in on a secret that few people are aware of
It takes on average seven years for a blended family to build relationships and function as genuinely united team. To do this successfully you’ll need to develop some new routines and family traditions (see ‘Step Family Life’ for advice on how to do this). Seven years probably sounds a long time to you! Statistics suggest most blended families don’t hang around long enough to develop and enjoy the blessings of blending. The process can be faster if you are proactive in bringing everyone together (or slower if you aren’t).
Click here to cotinue reading important points to help your children and/or step children in Part 3