Step Parenting: The problems and solutions

Adele Cornish, BSW

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Feelings of resentment

I recently received an email from a stepmother who is wondering if other people have experienced similar feelings she has been having regarding her stepdaughter.  She wants your help.  Here’s what she says:

“I love my step daughter and have always worked very hard to have a good relationship with her.  This year I had my first child and we were all very excited but ever since my daughter has been born I find myself resenting my step child.  I am surprised and confused by these feelings. I love her and I feel so ashamed I don’t know why I’m feeling like this. When my husband talks about how our child is just like her sister I find myself feeling angry that our child is not recognised in her own right. When I hear “Oh you’re just like your sister or your sister was exactly the same or you look just like your sister” I feel irritated. I never imagined that I would have these feelings. I am hoping this will pass and I just wondered if anyone else has had this happen to them or what they did to overcome it. I want my family to be a loving good place for both of our children to grow up in. Any advice would be welcome.”

To offer some help and encouragement, please reply below.  You can remain annonymous if you prefer.

Warm regards

Adele Cornish

p.s. Thanks for taking the time to offer your support during what can be a lonely experience.

UPDATE!

Find out what this stepmother thought of these reponses by clicking here

p.p.s. Remember to enter your name and email to receive tips and advice for yourself!

Stepparenting: Why do it?

Stepparenting is hard work and can at times feel rather unrewarding.  If you are a stepparent, what motivates you to try your best at this challenging task?  Is it…

*for the sake and benefit of your couple relationship? 
*to use the opportunity to feed positively into your stepchild’s life? 
*to develop within you the type of personal traits such as patience, perseverance and grace that only grow through times of trial?

What are your thoughts on this?

Warm regards