Resentment
Adele Cornish, BSW
Today we’re looking at the topic of resentment in a blended family
It’s not uncommon for stepparents to experience feelings of resentment towards their stepchildren for a number of reasons.
Specifically identify the cause of your resentment
I recall one lady (let’s call her Elaine) who strongly resented her stepdaughter, not because of anything the girl had done but because her husband treated his daughter like royalty. Elaine felt her needs always came second. The root of the problem was not the daughter’s behaviour, but rather the way Elaine’s husband responded to his daughter.
Take time to make your partner feel loved and special
This can reduce a stepparent’s feelings of resentment towards your children. Reassure your biological children that the relationship they share with you cannot substituted or replaced by the one you share with your partner (their stepparent) so they too feel secure.
On a simpler note, it could be that a stepparent resents having to continually meet the practical needs of his or her stepchildren. If this is the case, negotiate roles and responsibilities with your partner and ensure a stepparent has time out for themself.
For more information on how to reduce resentment and negotiating roles, please go to Session 4, page 13 of the Blending Lives Program.
Warm regards
Blended Family Advisor
p.s. If you don’t have a copy of the Blending Lives Program yet, please click here