Stepparenting: What you need to know
Adele Cornish, BSW
Essential information for every stepfather and stepmother
If you choose a partner who has children of their own, you are choosing their children too (even if it’s by default). Almost all children express dissatisfaction with the newly formed blended family at some point. A difficult stepchild can cause turmoil within a stepfamily. The key to success is to uinte together as a couple and put some strategies in place that will help build relationships.
The feeling of ‘love’ between a stepmother or stepfather and child can take years to develop.
The stepparent/child relationship is very different to the biological parent/child relationship. Focus must first be on developing respectful relationships between stepparents and stepchildren before a more loving one evolves. Over time a stepparent and child can form a special and unique bond which will be different to the bio parent/child connection but not in a negative sense.
Blended Family Researchers have found that step parents in successful blended families do the following:
- Seek to build a relationship with their stepchildren
- Respect the connection between a child and their bio parents without trying to replace a parental figure
- Accept children’s need for a key relationship with their parent; it lessens a child’s resistance and rivalry towards their step mother or step father.
For more detailed information on how to bond with your stepchild and what your partner must do to help you, go to Session 3 of the Blending Lives Program. If you don’t have a copy yet, click here
Warm regards
Blended Family Advisor