Survey Results

In a recent survey, I asked those who have been divorced, the following question:

Prior to your first marriage, did you believe that ‘marriage’ is for a life time?

A whopping 91.5% said YES and the remainder 8.5% said NO

Everyone who responded is currently living in a blended family. Here’s how they now rate the long-term success of their current relationship.

Do you expect your current relationship to last a lifetime (until death)?

YES 66.9%

NO 4.2%

UNSURE 28.9%

The answers here reflect a more realistic perception of the difficulties blended families face and the challenge in working to overcome them. Blended family members have to deal with issues (some might say ‘baggage’) from past relationships which are naturally dragged into the new family.

However, it’s not all bad. For some, life experience can be the best teacher if you choose to learn from them.

BUT, experiences alone don’t necessarily teach you anything. In order to learn from your experiences you MUST evaluate those experiences. Learning is about acquiring new knowledge, behaviors or skills.

Take divorce for example, what have you learnt about yourself through the divorce process that will help you in future relationships?

What are you doing differently this time round to ensure your relationship succeeds?

Your attitude towards difficult experiences can help you grow as a person or become bitter and only YOU have the power to determine this effect. Marriage second time round is even harder than the first so take the opportunity to reflect on the questions above and use your experience as a stepping stone towards blended family success.

Warm regards

Adele Cornish

p.s. You know if you’ve truly learnt something because your experiences will change your behavior.