Today’s tip is on the topic of money as it’s often a sensitive issue for couples in a blended family
There’s a saying that goes:
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Reinhold Niebuhr
‘Part of the parcel’ of having a blended family is that at least one partner will be financially responsible for the upkeep of their children, this is something you cannot change although it may not seem ‘fair’ to you. Typically a child’s father has a responsibility (and most likely a natural desire) to provide for them, just as he would if he were still with their mother.
This is pretty tough especially if money is tight but often it’s not something you can change.
When things don’t happen the way you want them to, your reaction can either make or break your relationship. After you’ve vented your frustration to your partner it then becomes your choice to continue holding resentment against them or to accept the situation and let it rest. The latter enables you to put your energy and focus into something you can change such as what happens with the money left over for your house.
It is most likely that you and partner have different values surrounding money.
For example, your partner may see it as a tool to provide fun opportunities while it’s in hand, you might choose to be more conservative and want to accumulate it for future needs. Neither is right or wrong. Differences can be a good thing if you choose to work together to complement each other. Whatever your values, work together to create a win-win.
Blending can be really tough at times. It’s easy to get “stuck” or bogged down with problems. If you need some help, click here.
Adele Cornish BSW
Blended Family Advisor
p.s. Session 2 of the Blending Lives Program has more information of the topic of money.