Are children tearing you apart?
Adele Cornish, BSW
In my last tip I made the point that as a couple, you and your partner need to be 100% committed to making your relationship succeed.
This is particularly important if you feel your children are deliberately trying cause problems and friction within your relationship.
Here’s one reply I received to my tip:
“I totally agree that both adults need to be committed to the success of the relationship to have a chance of it working. As soon as one person tunes out it reduces the success rate. There are always going to be times you are more “plugged in” than others. However you need to recognize that and do something about it! As far as children sabotaging the relationship, I don’t believe they ALL set out to sabotage. I am lucky that my beautiful stepchildren have accepted me from the beginning and comment how much happier they see my husband and I compared to their memories of their parents together.
Do our children still wish that their parents would get back together again after 8 years+ apart? Our 2 youngest do (13 and 12 years old), even though they can both say that they know it is never going to happen. My stepson said that he wants that so he does not have to go from one house to the next. It would make his life a lot easier, and I understand that completely. Children are very perceptive as well as very vulnerable, and we need to help them work through their grief and provide positive role models. They need to know the other parent is still a very important part of their lives and that they don’t have to choose.”
What’s your experience of this? Do you agree? I look forward to your response.
p.s. For help on how to create and sustain a great couple relationship click here