If you have a difficult step child, read on…

Adele Cornish, BSW

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After my last email tip I received the following response from a woman whose relationship has dissolved:

“Bottom line is this; if one partner is not willing to make every effort, put the relationship as a priority, and get a backbone with manipulative children who will do everything they can to control the situation, the blended family will inevitably implode.”

Is she right?

I’ve come across one therapist who believes that all children in a blended family deliberately set out to sabotage their parent’s new relationship. While I don’t believe this is the case with ALL children, there are certainly some children who try their best to make life for a couple particularly difficult and the example above supports this.

If children sense that you and your partner are not 100% committed to your couple relationship and the success of your blended family, they will be more resistant to blending and bonding.

Your children need to see you and your partner/husband or wife really pull together. It helps children accept that ‘this is it’ and they’ll be more likely to work with you to become valuable part of your family life.  On ther other hand, if children gain a sense that they can divide you and your partner, it might encourage them to push harder.  Be sure to put some boundaries in place to limit the negative effect of your child’s or stepchild’s behaviour both for the child’s benefit and that of your couple relationship.

Maybe you’re one of many couples who have survived for years in an unfulfilling relationship.

It doesn’t have to be like this.  The thing is, your relationship will only ever be as good as the effort you are prepared to put in to it.  If you feel like it’s all too much or would just like some extra help, click here

Warm regards

Adele Cornish

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