Respect: Is it crucial to success…
Adele Cornish, BSW
Men need respect, women need love…
Studies suggest that 3 out of 4 men would rather feel unloved than not respected in their relationship. They also indicate that during conflict a man most often reacts when feeling disrespected while a woman reacts when feeling unloved.
If respect is so important, it’s important we know what it means and how to show it.
This is where I would really appreciate your feedback to help with my own research. Please take a moment to answer these questions:
- How do you define respect?
- Can you still respect your partner even if you disagree with some of their decisions or behavior?
- How important is it that your partner respects you and why?
- How do you show your partner you respect them?
Thanks for your assistance, I really value your support.
Warm regards
Adele Cornish
p.s. Please remember to focus on respect within your couple relationship (not parent/child respect, that’s another topic).
p.p.s. Just pick one question if you’re short of time. You can remain anonymous if you prefer.
I define respect as treating your spouse well. To me, it is about being courteous and supportive. If I don’t agree with him, I just don’t respond. If I do agree with him, I reaffirm what he says. I think respect is very important – it’s really just about being nice to your spouse. I think sometimes we treat our spouse worse than we would a stranger…and I think it’s important to always maintain a high level of respect. I show my husband I respect him by listening to him, acknowledging his presence and his feelings, and giving him plenty of positive affirmations.
Hi.
I think respect is being valued, for the benefit of the whole family/group/community. Eg you might respect your boss if he/she is good at driving the business to success, even if you dont like them, or disagree with their decisions.
You show respect by listening to someone, valuing what they say and do, and treating them and what they do as valuable and important. Adjusting your behaviour if it upsets them rather than defending your actions and carrying on doing what you want. Put their needs first before everyone else.
I define respect as accepting and not crossing your parners boundries. If the partner does not want to talk about certains things, than respect her/his wishes.
Respect is not blaming your faults on your partner, it’s owning your mistakes and taking responsiblity for your actions. Respect is asking for forgiveness and apologizing. Respecting your partnes families and friends.
• How do you define respect? Enjoying, cherishing and communicating with each other with lots of smiles and happiness and kind words and kind doings
• Can you still respect your partner even if you disagree with some of their decisions or behaviour? Yes defiantly, especially if I can see (but still disagree) their point of view
• How important is it that your partner respects you and why? Most important, because as I said above respect to me means that they enjoy, cherish and communicate to be with you in a happy way, if they don’t respect means they are sad, hurtful and non communicate which is not called a relationship, a respected one at that.
• How do you show your partner you respect them? Understand how they feel and what they say, communicate your appreciation, giving something back to them in return.
I believe that choosing to respect your partner is the same as choosing to love them, especially in the times of disagreements. If we think about how we wouldn’t like those lines to be crossed from our partner then we wouldn’t go doing them to our partner. Even if they did cross that line and disrespect us in a way that was hurtful and disappointing that does not mean we have the right to give the same treatment back. We need to show/teach one respect to gain it and live it as a lifestyle.
I think respect is an shade of love. Men when they feel “disrespect” try to get even. All couples disagree and have different backgrounds or maps of their lives. How do two people understand the differences and choose to honor the other’s background? I think men live by their own code and do things for the spouse and family in the role as provider/hunter. If the man does not think that is valued, he sees respect as lost. He views the relationship as changed and very difficult to repair.
Hi,
How do you define respect?
Respect is when you show that both are on the same level in your relationship not above her/him or under even if one brings more money in or does more. Respect is when you take your partner as they are, supporting what ever they do.
Can you still respect your partner even if you disagree with some of their decisions or behavior?
Sometimes its hard but yes you can still have respect because we all do things that others do not agree with sometimes. You need respect to keep relationship going.
How important is it that your partner respects you and why?
It is very important and in my relationship I do not feel it most of the time. Its important because not respected knocks your confidence and makes you depressed.
How do you show your partner you respect them?
Communication is the keyword in any relationship. Just telling your partner that you really appreciate what they do and not putting them down all the time shows respect.
After reading through this, I realized that I have some difficulty defining respect…(this tells me a lot about the respect in my relationship)…I guess to me, respect means common courtesy towards the one you love comes easily. Their happiness is of high priority to you, even when there’s a disagreement. I personally have difficulty respecting my partner when we disagree, and especially when I don’t like the way he is behaving. I can see he struggles with that as well, perhaps moreso than I do. It is very important to me that my partner respects me, and shows it! I am more of a feminist/independant type of woman, and I have found out that in most relationships involving men and women, this doesn’t work well. Men need to feel “needed” and when the threat of that being absent is presant, men get insecure, which can lead to disrespect…(yes, there are many issues plaguing my relationship with my fiance)…It was recently suggested to me that perhaps we just aren’t right for each other. Maybe not, I guess I’m trying to figure that out. I show him respect by backing up what he says when dealing with the kids, I do lots of things the way he likes, I help him with pretty much everything he may or may not need help with, I give him his space when he wants it, I help to take care of him, the things I do to show him respect go on and on….and after writing all of this, I’m also thinking about what I DO or DON’T DO that is disrespectful towards him. We definitly have some things to work on in our relationship!
• How do you define respect?
Respect, like love, is hard to define. But in a marriage I think you show respect to your spouse by listening, sharing, caring, accepting, honoring, encouraging and supporting them. Treating your spouse or significant other, as you desire to be treated.
• Can you still respect your partner even if you disagree with some of their decisions or behaviour?
I think you can. Accepting them as an equal human being, yet sometimes someone has to have the final say if neither can come to an agreement. Marriage is taking two individuals, but becoming a unity. Ideally both will agree on issues that require a single decision. Being able to “give up” that decision, or “taking” the final say can still be done with respect, if both accept that ultimately the person having the final say is doing it to the best of their capability and for the best of the situation. This is the time that “respecting” your spouse or partner is probably most difficult, yet most necessary.
• How important is it that your partner respects you and why?
I don’t believe a marriage can survive without respect.
• How do you show your partner you respect them?
I think that was answered in the first question.
RESPECT…is not black and white, Respect is not exclusive toward race, gender, class or race. RESPECT is not earned nor conditioned. RESPECT is no shape. You can not see it, judge it, hold it or even feel it.
So, what is it?
In my mind, RESPECT start with SELF CONFIDENCE with in an individual. With a variety of relationships we find ourselves in, child, sibling, daughter or son, mother or father, friend, co-worker, girlfriend, boss, etc Respect is about the individuals value system. Respect is how one communicates their value with ones self and toward others.
So, you need to start with yourself and not blame someone else if you are not happy. With a man, I believe they do feel love and respect equally based on the way they see themselves and those they allow into their space. Respect is an energy inside which those around a man communicate subconsciously and eventually consciously.
As mentioned earlier, it is not a black and white issue, we are all responsible for how we treat ourselves and others based on our unique value system, in general, most people need to learn to communicate assertively to others their needs and wants.
In conclusion, we all could use communication skill set to teach our needs and wants. When an individual can not effectively communicate towards someone therefore leading them to feel disrespected.
Hi:
I think that respect is important. Respect is allowing your partner to be themselves without having resentment. However, he or she must consider your feelings. If a person wants respect they must also give respect. Equal opportunity is important.
How do you define respect? It is consideration and appreciation of another’s feelings, wants, desires, opinions and finding value in them whether you agree or not on a topic.
Can you still respect your partner even if you disagree with some of their decisions or behaviour? Decisions, Yes if it is reciprocal. Behavior is another story. Behavior depends if it is a good or bad behavior.
How important is it that your partner respects you and why? It is one of the most important aspects especially in a blended family. If your spouse, who is the parent of children, fails to show respect to aspouse the children pick up on it and the disrespect is repeated by the children which exasperbates the disrespect.
How do you show your partner you respect them?
Continued….. How do you show your partner you respect them? By listening to them and their wants, needs, desires, opinions and finding value in them whether you agree or not and finding a common ground on a topic and working together toward a common goal.
Respect means to me that you value your partners views even when you don’t always agree with their perspective. That you respect their right to be the person that they are and not allow my expectations limit them as people.
Respect to me is loving unconditionally your patrner regardless whether he is wrong or right.Everyone has their opinion,but we should never to hang up on it when our partner doest want ours,by the end of the day,God knows what is our motive and He will be the one to judge with our action
We should respect eveyone even they are not respectable, we are accountable to God , not to the person
Respect is a two way traffic, if we show respect to our partner,chances are more higher to respect us as well.It is important to for me to have respect from my partner because the children can see how we relate to one another, and I do beleive that children follow not what they hear but what did they see
By allowing him to be by himself and not to push the things that I want to change.
—– Original Message —–
I believe respect is automatically given but can be lost for various reasons. Giving respect is often mirrored by getting respect. Listening to one another, validating the others feelings without criticism, and being honest is all part of respect. How you talk to your partner is also a huge part of showing him/her respect.
Ephesians 5 tells us that a womans great need is love and a man’s need is respect.
Yes, I can still respect my partner when I disagree with his decisions/behavior. Just because he feels and responds differently than I do does not give me the right to treat him poorly. We are each entitled to our own thoughts, feelings and actions. Whether or not I can live with those is a separate question.
I have trouble in this area with my partner. He feels strongly that I disrespect him and there’s a large part of me that doesn’t know what he means by it.
I believe respect is shown in they way we treat and talk to each other. If an adult is yelling at me and barking orders of what I should and shouldn’t do I have a hard time respecting them. To me no adult should behave that way especially if the trigger seems like something that have could been resolved faster and better by simply stating what’s offensive and finding a solution, even if it’s agreeing to disagree.