Will you succeed?
Adele Cornish, BSW
So what is the one key thing that causes almost certain death in your relationship?
Character assassination. Attacking each other personally.
Don’t attribute your partner’s behavior to a character defect.
Say your partner frequently yells at you. You could think they’re just a nasty person.
How you choose to interpret their behavior will affect how you respond to them. If you think they’re just being nasty, you’re more likely to respond in a mean or angry manner back.
If you reframe your thinking without getting personal, there’s a greater chance you’ll respond reasonably. For example, when your partner yells you might think they are feeling frustrated about the situation and don’t feel understood. Now the problem is not ‘the person’ but the issue.
Rather than making your partner the ‘problem’ direct your attention to the issue that needs resolving.
Effective conflict resolving skills will directly affect your success over time. Go to Session 2, page 9 of the Blending Lives Program for more information on this topic.
Blended Family Advisor
p.s. If you’d like some skills and strategies to help you resolve conflict in a healthy manner and don’t yet have a copy of my program, please click here