Step Parenting: The problems and solutions

Adele Cornish, BSW

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How to get along with your stepchildren

After receiving some emails lately from stepparents who are really struggling with not liking their stepchildren I’ve started a blog on the topic of ‘How to get along with your stepchildren’.

Stepparents going through this difficult stage need encouragement from those who have lived through it and reaped the rewards.

The thing is, it’s easy to focus on a problem and allow it to become all consuming at the expense of your couple relationship.  In other words you find the kids so difficult that at this point you just want to escape it all.  You’re prepared to quit and sacrifice the long-term wellbeing of your couple relationship because of the children.

There’s a saying that goes ‘You will never possess what you’re unwilling to pursue.’

If you want to enjoy great relationships you have to push on through the tough stages and pursue them.  Some of you have done this so here’s your chance to share how you got through the issue of not wanting or liking your stepchildren.

Please let these stepparents see that it is possible!

Warm regards

Adele Cornish BSW

Blended Family Advisor

p.s. Remember you can keep your response anonymous if you wish.

p.p.s. If you would like professional guidance  and support on how to get through this difficult issue, please click here

Feelings of resentment

I recently received an email from a stepmother who is wondering if other people have experienced similar feelings she has been having regarding her stepdaughter.  She wants your help.  Here’s what she says:

“I love my step daughter and have always worked very hard to have a good relationship with her.  This year I had my first child and we were all very excited but ever since my daughter has been born I find myself resenting my step child.  I am surprised and confused by these feelings. I love her and I feel so ashamed I don’t know why I’m feeling like this. When my husband talks about how our child is just like her sister I find myself feeling angry that our child is not recognised in her own right. When I hear “Oh you’re just like your sister or your sister was exactly the same or you look just like your sister” I feel irritated. I never imagined that I would have these feelings. I am hoping this will pass and I just wondered if anyone else has had this happen to them or what they did to overcome it. I want my family to be a loving good place for both of our children to grow up in. Any advice would be welcome.”

To offer some help and encouragement, please reply below.  You can remain annonymous if you prefer.

Warm regards

Adele Cornish

p.s. Thanks for taking the time to offer your support during what can be a lonely experience.

UPDATE!

Find out what this stepmother thought of these reponses by clicking here

p.p.s. Remember to enter your name and email to receive tips and advice for yourself!

Stepparenting: Why do it?

Stepparenting is hard work and can at times feel rather unrewarding.  If you are a stepparent, what motivates you to try your best at this challenging task?  Is it…

*for the sake and benefit of your couple relationship?
*to use the opportunity to feed positively into your stepchild’s life?
*to develop within you the type of personal traits such as patience, perseverance and grace that only grow through times of trial?

What are your thoughts on this?

Warm regards